The night before I look all over the house trying to find our flip video camera. I can't find the damn thing anywhere, so I text my husband. He hasn't seen it either. Finally, walking out the door the next morning I remember where I put it. I grab the camera and a new pack of batteries. I get to school find some seats and put the batteries in the camera. The brand new batteries were bad and the video camera lasted about 2 minutes of the 25 minute program. I had my phone fully charged so we went to that as a back up plan.
After the program, they served refreshments of kool-aid, juice, muffins and donuts. As I approach the table a lady asks if I would like a Kool-aid. I politely decline, but what I would really like to say is: "No thank you, I'll just stick to my wine" and give a little wink.
After the refreshment part, we go back to the classroom where we get to see what the kids have been learning all year. Of course, they start with a few bible verses. We are informed that our children have learned 24 bible verses this year. I look at my mother in law and say: "Well, that means Grace knows 24 more bible verses than I do." As the kids are reciting the bible verses I watch all of the good Baptist moms mouth the bible verses along with their kids and nod approvingly. I on the other hand am searching for the fire exit so I can plan my escape route when I burst into flames.
The second part of the classroom presentation are a few of the songs they learned (all biblical, of course). Then they move on to reading and grammar rules. Ok, now I'm on board. As they are reciting their grammar rules, I notice I'm the only mother mouthing along with my child and nodding their approval. Seriously...you can remember all 24 bible verses, but can't remember a couple of grammar rules?!!?
After this event, I have no doubt my daughters will probably end up getting kicked out of school because of their mother. Cheers!
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