Breast Pumps, Bars and Mardi Gras

My youngest daughter, Aubrey, was born 3 weeks before the Saints won the SuperBowl (Who Dat!) and 4 weeks before Mardi Gras. If you know me, you know Mardi Gras is what I do. When I got married never missing Mardi Gras was one of my non-negotiables. So in true Mardi Gras spirit I loaded up my 20 month old and 4 week old and headed to NOLA.

Sunday night my mother offered to keep my girls while I went to Bacchus (a parade) with my brother, Lowery. I load up and drive over to my brother's house. I get out of the car with my cooler of beer and my breast pump. And this is how it goes:

Lowery: "Is that your breast pump?"

Me: "Yep. The milk comes out either way and this way is a helluva lot drier."

Lowery: "How are you going to use the milk after you've been drinking?"

Me: "I'm not going to use the milk. I'm going to dump it. Pump and dump takes on a whole new meaning when you become a mother."

We head uptown to the parade and meet a few of my brother's friends at Fat Harry's which is a local college/post-college bar. If you have never been to Mardi Gras, being close to a bathroom is KEY; just an FYI. During the parade and many beers later, I need to use the restroom. As I go inside to use the restroom I tell my brother to watch my breast pump. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be more concerned about the well being of a breast pump than my beer. It's getting close towards the end of the parade and it's time for me to pump. I grab my breast pump and head into Fat Harry's. I go into the bathroom and start searching for an outlet. There's no outlet in the girls bathroom. Seriously, have you ever heard of a girls' bathroom with no outlet?!!? Isn't that breaking some type of law? I realize that boobs are a big part of Mardi Gras, but I don't think a pair attached to a milking machine is what people have in mind. Remember the milk is coming out regardless, so I need a plan.

I go back outside and see my brother talking to his buddy, Daniel. I tell Lowery they don't have an outlet in the bathroom and I need to find someplace to pump...quick. Luckily, Daniel lives a block away from Fat Harry's.  Hallelujah!!! Daniel just saved the crowd at Fat Harry's a large dose of unwanted birth control.