Blow up dolls as rafts?!??

Yes, I posted a picture on my Facebook page with a blow up doll in the pool floating around kids swimming.

 

 

 

This probably isn't appropriate, but we may have broken that little rule last year at Mardi Gras.  My friend, Dana, comes in every year for Mardi Gras from Oregon. Last year, she wasn't able to come in due to work. We didn't want her to miss it, but she couldn't be there either. Obviously, we needed an alternative. Introducing...

 

                      

                                         Blow up doll, Dana!

 

We took her with us all weekend, uploaded the pictures to Facebook and tagged her so she could see herself enjoying all of the festivities. She would even text us with requests of the things she would like to do while at Mardi Gras.

 

She became as big a part of the family as the real Dana. We realized this when the girls would remind us not to forget Ms. Dana when we loaded up in the car to head out for the parades. 

 

So, I may make fun of people allowing their children to use a blow up doll as a raft, but I happily carried my blow up doll, Dana, around with my family for a whole weekend. Which in turn, makes me Mother of the Year yet again.

 

 



Parents-To-Be Make Me Laugh

The other day Grace and I were in Target to get a birthday present for one of her friends. As we're in line to check out, the pregnant couple in front of us start talking to Grace. They ask her all of the usual questions, tell me she's beautiful, etc., etc.  All the things naive parents-to-be talk about to other parents.

The lady in front of us checking out has her grandson in the front of the shopping cart, who's obviously teething. He's happy as a clam knawing on the metal handle. The pregnant wife is smiling in that way you know she's judging.

 

The lady finishes checking out and pushes the cart with her grandson out the store. As soon as the lady is out of earshot, the wife turns to the husband and says:

"Our child will never be in a shopping cart without a cover and most certainly will not chew on the handle! I bet she didn't even disinfect it!"

She looks over at me for confirmation and I just knowingly nod.

My knowing nod translates into: "Lady, you just wait. You'll be so tired after this baby you'll just hope you remembered to brush your teeth and put on deoderant before you walked out the door."

At this point I will happily induct her into the wonderful world of my Mother of the Year Award.

Drunk Santa

Holy crap, is Santa a hard job?!!? Christmas Eve we go to church then have friends and family over for dinner and drinks. Finally, we get the kids calmed down enough to go to bed. After we are sure that they are fast asleep, it's time to pull out the Santa toys from all of their hiding places and get to work.  There's only one problem; none of the Santa's at this house were drinking milk.

At this point we're scrambling for tape and gift tags. I finally decide that gift tags are a waste of time since they won't read them anyway. The new idea is to write the first letter of their name on their gifts and put them in different piles; which actually worked out well. I finally find the tape and off we go.  This pretty much looked like our presents minus the bows and gift tags.

 

The next morning I wake up around 6am with a massive hangover. This is when I go into panic mode. "Oh, shit! Did we get all the presents?!!?" I get out of bed and start checking all of the hiding places. I was sure there were some we missed. After checking a couple of times I was satisfied we didn't miss anything. I went back to bed and waited for the girls to wake up.

The girls finally get up and we go into the living room to start opening presents. I get the video camera out and set it on the shelf so we have a steady memory of Christmas morning. One of the girls' biggest presents was a new kitchen. Aubrey is all excited opening the doors and cabinets to see what's in the kitchen. All of sudden we hear her squeel with delight: "Santa left me a screwdriver!"

Apparently Santa, in his drunken state, forgot to put up the screwdriver after putting all of the cabinets and doors on the kitchen. This is why, yet again, I get to keep my title as Mother of the Year.