Pools, not Soldiers

Yesterday, we were taking the girls swimming at a friend's house. As we come to an intersection, there was a couple proudly displaying American flags and waving at the cars. Of course Grace asks why they were standing on the corner with flags and waving at everybody. I told her they were honoring the people who have fought and are currently fighting for our country. That this is Memorial Day and this day recognizes those men and women. The people waving the flags are letting everyone know that they need to do the same. Her response "Memorial Day! I know what that means; that's the day the pool opens." To say she didn't quite get it would be an understatement.

Pooping with Jesus

The girls and I were finally leaving to go to New Orleans for the weekend.  We’re almost to the interstate when Grace declares that she has to poop. The closest, clean place to use the restroom is Miskelly's, a huge furniture store. I pull in, unload the girls and head to the bathroom. Grace is going to the bathroom with the door open so she can talk to Aubrey and me. Aubrey has other plans and tries to close the stall door; can’t say that I blame her. An older woman comes in to use the restroom and I apologize for the door being open, etc, etc. Grace finishes up about the same time as the lady. As Grace is leaving the stall, Aubrey decides to close the stall door yet again and catches Grace’s fingers. I know this hurt, but Grace is my dramatic child and I’m pretty sure everyone in the store heard her screaming bloody murder. I sit her on the counter, run her fingers under the cold water and try to calm her down. The lady decides that she is going to step in at this point and try to “help.” She tells Grace to put her hands together and pray to Jesus that her fingers stop hurting. Grace and I both look at this lady like she’s lost her damn mind. I tell her I think right now what we need is ice and not prayer. Now the lady is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. The only thing I could come up with is “after we finishing praying to Jesus and he’s done walking on water; do you think he could turn some of that into ice for her fingers?” I’m pretty sure I may have put another old lady down in the Miskelly’s bathroom.

Side Note: Obviously, I’m not saying that praying to Jesus is a bad thing. I just didn’t feel like this was the appropriate time. I was more in first aid mode at this point.

You have a baby...in a bar?!!?

My kids LOVE to dance to live music.  Growing up in New Orleans I can remember going to bars to see bands with my parents and my Aunt Patty.  So to me, bringing a child to a bar is a right of passage and completely normal.  However, the people in Jackson don’t quite feel the same way.  That makes me about the only mother in the area calling the bars and asking may I bring my 3 and 2 year old to hear the band if we promise to leave after the 1^st set.  On several occasions I wish I was asking in person because as soon as the person covered the receiver you know they were using the line straight out of Sweet Home Alabama.  “You have a baby…in a bar?!!?”  It’s gotten to the point where I know which bars will allow the kids to have their much loved dance parties.  The girls also know which bars and will usually make their request on Friday night.

End of the Year School Pictures?!!?

The girls had end of the year school pictures at their daycare.  I had no idea this even existed, for two reasons.  1. They’re only 2 and 3 for crying out loud.  I didn’t think this started until Kindergarten.   2. Who in the world has ever heard of end of the year school pictures.?!!? We get to school and all of the other kids are DECKED out in their nicest duds.  I’m pretty sure my kids had stains on their clothes.  Yes, I said stains.  They’re going to paint, color, play and get downright dirty.  Why in the world would I let them wear nice clothes to do these things?  My thought as I drove away was at least I brushed their hair today.

DHS wouldn't find me funny

Some of you may have seen the picture of our girls playing family where they were "drinking" beer on my Facebook page. I would like to make sure everyone understands that the beers were not open and they were not actually drinking. The picture has also been removed from my Facebook page at my husband’s request. The conversation goes as follows:

Scott: “Did you really put the picture of the girls drinking beer on Facebook?”

Me: “Yes, I told you I was when I was posting it. I thought it was pretty funny.”

Scott: “It was funny, but you never know who might see it. What would happen if someone just happened to report us to DHS?”     (DHS: Department of Human Services)

Me: “When DHS showed up at our house we would be outside with the girls; you with a beer and I would have a glass of wine. Probably not a very strong case in our defense; maybe I should take it down.”

Scott: “Probably not a bad idea.”

Like Katie Breslin says, "Good thing Scott has the responsible gene."